HELLO SUMMER!!!!!

22:00

Hello Summer!

No palm trees like how it is in America... just good old sun and sweat in this heat!
Finally though, I'm able to wear t-shirt and shorts these days.

Actually I do feel I am stupid in many ways - why am I wasting my time here, why did I not apply a freaking visa like a month ago and tour around Europe. And in Indo, I have nothing to do as well. At least I can just go out of the house and get some fresh air, do some shopping and eat whatever I like here.

For those who ever reads my blog, good news - I finally changed my blogskin! For those of you who don't know, I have always been a noob in technology. It is kind of a miracle to think of the leap I faced a few years back, not knowing how to use the internet, email and now it has been a daily thing, even using design softwares :) So yea, I started to find blogskins on Sunday night, and I needed some time to edit the blog codes and stuff. There are many things to write, the good, the bad, and this just goes on for days... till now.

What do you think of the new look? I removed my cbox for this template because,,,, I keep getting spam messages and yea I guess there isn't a need for it anymore.

Its break time for uni and I'm really happy with the outcome I produced for the last term. This is my ad video about Boba App which basically highlights the main function of the app. I'm really thankful of the positive comments I received from facebook. So thank you everyone who watched and liked it.


Just before I went out of the house, Got my CTS results in and before I checked, I already have a bad feeling about it and I predicted a C+, which I got it for real. I just scanned through the comments but really lazy to read about it because it is so negative but that doesn't stop me from my mood of going out with Vensia.

Went out with Vensia to Smack Deli for lunch and you should really try the lobster chowder and courgette fries. As a year passed on, we're now soonto be Year 2s. While she has talks about pathways in her school, I don't even know what is happening in my own school- or is there even a pathway for my course.





I must say dramas is my only activity throughout my uni days, I even find them more interesting to watch rather than UK tv. I will be just flipping channels on TV and not finding a channel I like to watch.

What I have been doing is just watch dramas. I have finished watching Misaeng, Pitch Perfect 2, Ex-girlfriend club, Fashion King (Movie). I have been listening to old songs.

All in all, throughout this short break, I have never felt so lonely before. I know many people stopped the blogging craze after secondary school but this blog has been a platform for me to write my ups and downs, troubles; and even if no one reads it, it is fine with me but just to let you know life hasn't always been the best for me and to recall all my life, it has just been so pointless. I have never felt truly happy, never felt everything was going right for me. When I thought things went right, the worse happens next, and I find myself falling into negativity, asking myself what is wrong with me, what have I ever did so wrong to deserve this kind of treatment?

That feeling of loneliness is one thing, but I kind of realised today that sometimes I didn't act like my true self since 2015... and that kind of changed my personality at times, but still I don't believe that I should be treated like an invisible person. I have feelings too. So I hope I can take this summer off to reflect back on myself, spend more time with my family back in Jakarta. I don't even know now if I am able to go Singapore, or if it is worth going to Singapore now because of some reasons that I feel.

Is it because of the negativity that I am unknowingly getting stressed? I gained weight and I'm just disappointed in myself. I really wanted this to be a happy blog post but I don't know why I just can't help writing about my true feelings here every time I come back to this space.

Truthfully, I want to work part-time but I'm still scared of applying for jobs or internships...

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