School is not going the way that I wanted. It doesn't feel right after I came back to London from my brother's wedding... Did I miss out from the people around me? Or am I finding myself getting more and more lonely as days go by. I have no one to depend on, no one to share my troubles with. People don't give a shit to what I feel. Was it really worth crying just because some people treat our feelings like trash? The only comfort was to cry more till your eyes get swollen and reading messages of people far away... crying even more when I hear their voices. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can't figure out words to reply and end up ignoring the message. I was so thankful for my friend Eileen who seemed to come over to London just at the right time last Saturday when things were depressing for me. I miss her so much, even now when I am writing this post.

I don't know why but that night, I was overwhelmed with feelings and took a walk by myself at night around the London Eye and Houses of Parliament and as I passed by this busker who sang Hotel California, it reminded me of my brother... Lots of sentimental things are happening to me day by day, and I have to urge to walk through this cold weather these few days because of the excessive thoughts on my mind that I can't put away. I must be crazy to think that I wanted to walk home from Oxford Street to home on Sunday when it was raining so heavily but gave up halfway after walking to Chinatown.