First of all, Happy New Year 2017!

An incredible lot of events happened over the second half of 2016... some good, some bad but let's think of it as mostly positive. It was a turning point for me here in the UK where I finally moved in alone, had my first job (even though its a mere part-time and irrelevant to my course or future), there were also lots of things that I've learnt in terms of life... meeting different types of new friends and most importantly, the conversations I had with them.

Taking the time now to reflect on the past, there are of course parts I wished I could have done differently or better otherwise, which is why I want to start posting regularly on this blog again, just like a diary so that I can constantly remind myself that I should be working hard for the final term. I can't say for sure that I won't be distracted because I know I will still be.

I also realised how much of my personality and aspirations has changed. I realised it myself, that I am not the hardworking Patricia I was for the past 2 years - I did not put any effort into my schoolwork or even have the motivation to start the projects. Even knowing how close datelines were, it did not affect how unconcerned I was. It was a weird change, even I can't explain it myself how I hated school and it was also difficult to talk about the life situation with close friends because everything that I think is complicated and I don't know how to put it in words sometimes.

My routine has changed so much so that I lost the interest in what I liked doing best - watching korean dramas. Even when I'm writing this, I still can't figure out why I became like this, knowing that inside of me I know this is all wrong. I felt like I want to disconnect from the whole world, reading and texting became annoying to me, all I wanted was just to talk but its not like the other party has time to spare for me. Everyone's busy with their schedule and that it is natural for people to ignore me. There was also one point that I felt the need to have my own time alone, to run away from thinking and being in friendships which I felt I wasn't sincerely appreciated, that I needed to forget about everything for a moment on a solo trip, yet did not have the chance to go.

Despite my happiness in my photos, don't you agree everyone does the same? Its all about filtering the life that I want to show to the public, the happy photos but never showing the worries one has, the uncertainty that one fears of.

I know that how repetitive the Is can be here in this post, but I needed this space to actually rant and if anyone actually reads this and knows me well, hoping that they will not be disappointed in my change of actions.

I sincerely wish everyone a happy new year 2017, hope that you, and also me can become better human beings in aspects that each of us want to improve on.

Loves,
Patricia