"As the sky turns dark and the steps go light.
You gotta make it right. That's what I fight.
Time turns into anger. Beast mode I'm power.
Control the earth, let me show my worth.
Blow ya minds out I'm differential.
Wait for a new me I'll run presidential.
Rise up to a new leader, new fighter.
Clench ya teeth tight when you be sober.
Imma raised fierce but I'm actually nice.
This minute I'll step and rule it wise.
Out from the ears what the elders chatter.
Cuz it's my life, well it don't matter."
--------------------------------------------------------
Today's entry will be heavily loaded with words, as I have lots to say.
I began this post with a short rap to get things off my mind a little bit.
This week was extremely difficult for me.
Waking up to find yourself listening to people's orders and having it to do right away... is a total nuisance to me. This action, repeats itself for the 2 weeks now. I'm far more tired and agitated by the people who always tell me what to do, or all pretentious like a wolf once I turn my back. Just sick and tired.
This time round I resumed with something I had paused a few years back - lyrics.
I used to be interested in rapping. I wrote poems, lyrics and such since I was in elementary school, and uploaded some covers on Youtube too. But that interest of mine died off when my school friends watched it on my channel, which made me even more self-conscious and eventually took the videos down.
Sad episode huh. To be honest, I never really try what I wanted to try, never realise the dream that was inside. All decisions were made by the people surrounding me, and factors, factors, factors. Yet, I'm still unsure what's best for me.
One life. 10 dreams. Is that possible? A painter, entrepreneur, singer, blogger, fashion designer, jewellery designer, stylist, hairdresser, housewife, producer. Areas of art and fashion? You need a name first. There's some serious talks if I had been more matured back in the days but I believe you won't grow much from a Singaporean culture - unless you're very academically focused I don't think it will help much in the future. Just saying my own thoughts.
Back here in Jakarta for almost a month now. It's the longest period I've stayed in here after a long while and I'm starting to look back at my own identity. I am an Indonesian, yet I don't act like one. I can't speak or write the language properly, and can't stand the some characteristics of my fellow country mates too. Yet, I'm not really keen about Singapore either, except the shopping part.
I wonder where do I really belong. Will going back to Jakarta at the period when I was in high school change anything? I met so many people who are younger than me and much more successful than I am. Or am I just useless. That is a thought that I ask myself every now and then. Am I really ready for this world?
Writing my answers as the days go by... with a hopeful yes in my mind. While this rant stops here for the time being, I'll be blogging about some other topics... if I find the right time for it.
You gotta make it right. That's what I fight.
Time turns into anger. Beast mode I'm power.
Control the earth, let me show my worth.
Blow ya minds out I'm differential.
Wait for a new me I'll run presidential.
Rise up to a new leader, new fighter.
Clench ya teeth tight when you be sober.
Imma raised fierce but I'm actually nice.
This minute I'll step and rule it wise.
Out from the ears what the elders chatter.
Cuz it's my life, well it don't matter."
--------------------------------------------------------
Today's entry will be heavily loaded with words, as I have lots to say.
I began this post with a short rap to get things off my mind a little bit.
This week was extremely difficult for me.
Waking up to find yourself listening to people's orders and having it to do right away... is a total nuisance to me. This action, repeats itself for the 2 weeks now. I'm far more tired and agitated by the people who always tell me what to do, or all pretentious like a wolf once I turn my back. Just sick and tired.
This time round I resumed with something I had paused a few years back - lyrics.
I used to be interested in rapping. I wrote poems, lyrics and such since I was in elementary school, and uploaded some covers on Youtube too. But that interest of mine died off when my school friends watched it on my channel, which made me even more self-conscious and eventually took the videos down.
Sad episode huh. To be honest, I never really try what I wanted to try, never realise the dream that was inside. All decisions were made by the people surrounding me, and factors, factors, factors. Yet, I'm still unsure what's best for me.
One life. 10 dreams. Is that possible? A painter, entrepreneur, singer, blogger, fashion designer, jewellery designer, stylist, hairdresser, housewife, producer. Areas of art and fashion? You need a name first. There's some serious talks if I had been more matured back in the days but I believe you won't grow much from a Singaporean culture - unless you're very academically focused I don't think it will help much in the future. Just saying my own thoughts.
Back here in Jakarta for almost a month now. It's the longest period I've stayed in here after a long while and I'm starting to look back at my own identity. I am an Indonesian, yet I don't act like one. I can't speak or write the language properly, and can't stand the some characteristics of my fellow country mates too. Yet, I'm not really keen about Singapore either, except the shopping part.
I wonder where do I really belong. Will going back to Jakarta at the period when I was in high school change anything? I met so many people who are younger than me and much more successful than I am. Or am I just useless. That is a thought that I ask myself every now and then. Am I really ready for this world?
Writing my answers as the days go by... with a hopeful yes in my mind. While this rant stops here for the time being, I'll be blogging about some other topics... if I find the right time for it.
